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A.G.
Edwards and Associates
Strong, Gaddy, Lilly Financial TeamThe Assault on Skitt’s Mountain The assault on Skitt’s mountain started at the Clermont Recreation Center near downtown Clermont under sunny skies with temperatures near 70 degrees, which was a welcome surprise with winter beginning in less than week. If you were to look at the map of today’s route you might say it looked like a left sparring glove punching Skitt’s Mountain. We would pass Skitt’s mountain twice today but the mountain was the one dishing out the pain in each round. The northern section of the loop went to the Union Grove Camp Ground in southeastern White county and the lower portion of our loop headed into northeastern Hall County past the big rocking chair before rolling back into downtown Clermont where the attack zone and ride ended. Our ride started out by riding the attack zone backwards which was like hearing screams of pain coming out of the dentist office knowing you were next in line for service. The next sixty miles had a little extra apprehension knowing what was in store. The highly anticipated finish did not disappoint with its promise of pain and once again the overall lead would change hands with a new rider breaking into the rankings. Riders signing in for the assault on Skitt’s mountain included the current overall leader Cippolini Coker who found his way to Clermont. Big Motor Brackett copiloted Coker to today’s ride and pulled the pack around all day. Shooting Star Bridges was one of the first to arrive just like he does on the finish line. Rumor has it Shooter stayed overnight at the downtown Clermont Swedish Inn to scout the attack zone after last weeks surprise finish. SORBA chapter president Danny Short signed in and passed the hat for the Christmas bike fund. Jehns Voight Lilly picked out today’s route and could be seen headed for the front shortly after signing in where he stayed for most of the day. Also joining the peloton for the assault was Landis-Hefner, renewed after last weeks mechanical. Mountain Man Stan White joined in and coached the dynamic Duo of Austin and Reed Bauman. The Ironman made the trip to Clermont along with Lighting Bolt Brody Stiarwalt. Attack Man Mahon rode in with dad Duane Mahon. Darting Dustin Mealor and Man Steven Dean chatted about the young guns challenging their rank as they signed in. Marathon Man Ron Miller took time out from training to join our short sixty miler. The best legs in the pack today belong to Claudia Goicoechea who brought along her husband the Costa Rican Comet Ronny Goicoechea. Traffic slowed to a crawl as the peloton gathered and began to roll out of downtown Clermont. Jehn Voight Lilly held the pack captive with his narrative of the attack zone as we began rolling past the city limit sign and out into the suburbs of Clermont. Sprinters began to fret as soon as they realized that they were now coasting along at thirty miles per hour which meant the attack zone finish will be uphill. The percent grade of the finish line sprint would be debated for the next fifty-five miles with some saying it will be a fifteen percent grade. Old Man Burch tried to calm their concerns by saying it was flat, but even he did not believe what he was saying. This finish was going to be a leg breaker. Crossing a bridge after the downward grade we turned right onto Stringer Road, which was a granny gear climb. Now concerns grew even higher knowing the approach to the finish included a high-speed descent. The route selector today grinned knowing only a strongman like him had a chance at today’s finish. The curving road looked like the finish of the Tour of Lombardy, which zigged and zagged left and right. After a mile the road ended and we turned left headed toward White County. The warm temperatures and a granny gear climb had the water bottles going bottoms up earlier than normal. Clear of suburban Clermont we headed out into the rolling hills up highway 254 toward White County with Big Motor Brackett pulling the pack. The open roads with little traffic offer the chance for a double pace line and many riders took the lead position by Big Motor, and Jehns Voight Lilly to assist in pulling the pack. Darting Dustin Mealor took many pulls as did Shooting Star Bridges. Old Man Burch took a short pull beside Big Motor and drifted back into the pack saying that the big motor Brackett has must be a hemi. Landis-Hefner’s pulled for a while until riders began to complain about the glare coming off his spot less sparkling clean bike. Last year Landis-Hefner visited his Dr about not feeling rested and he was sent to a sleep study clinic. He had taken his bike along to ride during the day and he kept his bike in his room at night. Video evidence revealed that he was sleep walking at night and detailing his bike in his sleep! The staff not wanting to wake him for fear of causing him to have a heart attack led him out to the parking lot where he detailed their cars before he climbed back into bed. The pack had rolled north of Skitt’s Mountain surviving round one and was now headed back toward Clermont where the pack approached cigarette hill. This hill is a steep grade about one mile long near a trailer park. The residents are known to encourage the cyclist up the hill by running beside them on the roadside saying “Come on boy. I know you can make it!” They never remove the cigarette from their lips while cheering allowing the ashes to be removed by the movement of their lips. Seeing Larry the cable guy’s twin brother run beside you with his equally sized girl friend does not motivate you, however if you are behind them and viewing their plumbers cracks a jiggling and also seeing her red silk thong rising above her plumbers crack you want to get away and fast. Scary stuff. It was on cigarette hill that Lighting Bolt Brody Stiarwalt was challenged by the Old Man for King of the Hill. Old Man started out with a lead but Lighting Bolt made short work of the challenge and sprinted to the top well ahead of the pack. The pack had grown smaller as the number of hills crossed grew. Everyone was ready for the store stop as we rolled back into Clermont before heading back out on the southern portion of the ride. Empty water bottles were filled and trash was talked. Between the warm temperatures and the hills our legs were beginning to feel the miles. Back out into the country side the pack rolled along. Everyone knew that the attack zone was getting closer with very pedal revolution. Turning right onto Persimmon road we passed the world’s largest rocking chair sitting out in a field. A farmer constructed the chair to help advertise his crops and it had been a useful landmark for many years. Hall County does not have a big chicken like KFC in Marietta; they have a big rocking chair instead. Turning left off Persimmon road we headed back for round two of Skitt’s mountain. Attack Man Mahon rode near the front all day and kept the pace lively as we approached the hills surrounding Skitt’s mountain for the second time and closed in on Clermont to end the day. Still in the countryside of Hall County we passed a barn with two buzzards sitting on the roof scanning the pack for victims. It seemed they had read the course map and knew the attack zone was near and a buffet of victims was soon to be had. The pace quickened again as the buzzards flew off the roof headed toward the attack zone. Ironman nearly became an early victim when sitting on the rear of the pack he ran over a dictionary sized block of wood, but recovered and quickly moved up in the pack. Nearing the attack zone the group compacted tighter to keep an eye on possible breakaway attempts or to just stay on a wheel. Steven Man Dean was hanging on the group doing an awesome job after having been off the bike for a month. Once Man Dean gets a lock on your wheel he will hang on like a snapping turtle on a skinny dipper. Mountain Man Stan had managed to coach Austin into the final selection. The last climb before the attack zone was the final daylong pull for Jehn Voight Lilly. A few grouped up behind him as they succumbed to tired legs. They all still had enough gas to outrun the hovering buzzards. Turning right onto the Stringer Road descent the attack zone began. Big Motor Brackett smoothly upped the pace and the pack strung out in a forty-five mile per hour descent. The pack zigged and zagged with the road easing on the breaks to keep from touching wheels but not breaking enough to lose contact. Anyone breaking too much or touching a wheel would lose contact and have to contend with the buzzards. The end of the hill meant we made a sharp left as riders skidded onto the final stretch over a little sandy patch and locked onto the wheel in front of them. We were now in the home stretch and crossed a bridge at the 1 KM mark and now the pain set in as the grade went to the debated ten or fifteen percent. With nearly sixty miles of hills and two rounds with Skitt’s mountain in their legs no one was willing to try and gun it to the finish line. Everyone was watching each other like old western gun fighters looking for an opponents move. Fast twitch muscle fibers where on red alert as Shooting Star Bridges moved to the front of the pack beside Big Motor Brackett. The pack was in a double pace line with everyone else happy to just hold a wheel as the grade continued to dish out major pain. Shooting Star knew he did not have to breakaway from 1 KM and set a pace that would allow him to jump closer to the line. Give Shooting Star a field sprint and he will leave you in his vapor trail. Landis-Hefner had no plans on battling it out with a top level sprinter and he LAUNCHED from the 200 M mark out of the back of the pack. I am not sure if it was my heart rate pounding in my ears, but his launch sounded like the space shuttle taking off. Shooting Star jumped after Landis-Hefner had came by the front, but it was a second too late. Shooter still had enough of a gap on the rest of the pack to sit up and salute the crowd as he crossed the line in second. Landis-Hefner never slowed down and maintained warp speed all the way to his truck. Lightening Bolt Brody jumped after Shooting Star and had a 10 M gap on the pack. The Lightning bolt began to fade to lightening bug and Old Man closed in on his left as lightening bug looked over his right shoulder. Old Man nipped him at the line for third. Ron Cippolini Coker cruised in for fifth ahead of Attack Man Mahon. The overall standings changed with Shooting Star Bridges reclaiming his number one position, and Landis-Hefner moved into a tied with Coker for second. Darting Dustin Mealor remains in third overall. The awards committee presented each of the first three attack zone winners with their prize envelope today. Receiving the awards today where for winning were Shooting Star, Ron Coker, and Landis-Hefner. The contents of the envelope are an assortment of coupons for ice cream and milk from a premium dairy, Mayfield Dairy Farms our series sponsor. At the North Georgia Winter Cycling League we ride until the cows come home. After the awards ceremony was completed the group hovered around Star’s car knowing he had the treat of the day in his car. Our group is lucky to have one of the best baker’s for miles around Lisa Mahon providing us with post ride snacks of healthy deserts which always disappear as quickly as they appear. This week’s treat was sour cream cinnamon cookies. Taste great and less filling, unbelievable. Thank you Lisa! Next Saturday we will repeat the Ron Coker Lake Loop route and start at 12 PM instead of 1 PM. There will be no attack zone or sprint points awarded, but we will sprint for the Clarkesville CLS. Prize envelope to the CLS sprint winner.
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Hours Monday-Friday 10-6 Saturday 9-1 Sunday Closed
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